Two Jobs, Two Kids, One Expat Life: How We Make It Work in Houston

Two years ago, we moved to Houston. For his job, for my adventure, and eventually for the life we are building here together. During the first one and a half years, my world revolved mostly around home. I focused on creating routines, building a social circle, and in the middle of all that, we welcomed our daughter.

My days were full, but somewhere along the way, something started to itch.

Because as much as I enjoyed that phase, I missed a part of myself. A sense of challenge, something that was mine. With a background in management and a strong interest in international environments, working in the US felt like an opportunity I did not want to let pass.

Ten months ago, I started working fulltime again. And that is exactly when our carefully built system started to shift.

When it all became a bit too much

Two fulltime jobs. Three days in the office for me, five for my husband. School drop offs and pick ups. Commutes. Groceries. Cooking. Laundry. Trying to fit in a workout. And also, actually being present with our kids.

There was a phase where it constantly felt like we were catching up. Like we were solving a logistical puzzle that changed every single day, but never quite worked out perfectly.

Mission impossible, just without the glamour.

The solution we were hesitant about

In the Netherlands, having help at home can quickly feel like a luxury or even something slightly uncomfortable. Here in the US, it is simply part of how many families make things work.

We already had a cleaner, but decided to take it a step further. On the days I go into the office, we now have someone helping at home. Resetting the house after the morning rush, doing laundry, sometimes even cooking.

And honestly, that took some getting used to.

But it turned out not to be a luxury. It turned out to be what makes this phase manageable.

Our kids are in fulltime daycare here, which is another big difference compared to the Netherlands. It gives structure, but it also means our days are tightly scheduled.

For groceries, I often use Amazon or do a pickup at H-E-B. I drive up, open the trunk, and a few minutes later everything is loaded in. The kind of convenience you get used to very quickly.

Building a version of “family” from scratch

One of the things people do not always talk about when moving abroad is that you have to rebuild your support system from zero.

We do not have parents nearby who can step in when a child is sick. No quick calls to ask someone to come over and help out.

What we do have is a small, close circle of people around us. Friends who, in a way, step into roles that would normally be filled by family, simply because none of us have that here.

Babysitters who are actually teachers from school. Friends living a few doors down who will grab a HelloFresh box if we are away. People who help when needed, just like we do for them.

It is different. Less automatic. But it is something we have consciously built.

The things we do not always say out loud

There are a few things that quietly play a big role in all of this.

Guilt, for example. Going to work and feeling like you are missing something. Or being at home and wondering if you are not using your full potential.

The mental load is another one. The constant planning, remembering, organizing. Who picks up when, what needs to go to school, do we still have milk.

And then there is the expectation that you can somehow do it all. Two careers, a family, a social life, and still feel somewhat put together.

Reality check, no one really does that effortlessly.

What works for us, for now

We do not have a perfect system. What we have is something that works, most of the time.

Flexibility in work was a non negotiable for me, and luckily we both have that when needed. We adjust, we shift things around, we figure it out as we go.

And maybe the most important realization lately, lowering the bar.

My house is rarely fully tidy. There is almost always something sticky on the floor. The dishwasher and I are still not aligned. And when the kids are in bed, I often choose to sit on the couch instead of doing another round of cleaning.

Does it bother me sometimes? Yes.

Do I always do something about it? Not really.

Final thoughts

This life is not perfect. It is messy, intense, and often just busy. But it is also a life we consciously chose and continue to shape along the way.

Not because we have it all figured out. But because we are building something that works for us, adjusting where needed, and sometimes just getting through the day.