Christmas Back Home as an Expat Mom

What is it like spending Christmas back home as a Dutch expat in the U.S.? Reflections on family, jet lag, planning, and finding balance during the holidays abroad.

Flying Home for Christmas as a Dutch Expat

Soon, we’ll be flying back to the Netherlands. It always feels like a vacation and at the same time, very much like coming home. Maybe that’s exactly why it requires so much preparation. It’s not just booking flights and arranging places to stay. It’s planning every day around expectations, family visits, work, and the kids.

This time, we’re going for ten days. And Christmas falls right in the middle of it, which means:
Seeing family.
Trying to fit in friends.
Managing jet lag with young children.
Working in between.
And somehow leaving space to actually enjoy it.

Visiting Home With Kids: Keep It Simple

For our children, it’s much simpler. They don’t care about tight schedules or perfectly aligned calendars. They just want time with family to play, cuddle, and be together. Not rushing from house to house, but simply being present.

That’s something I constantly remind myself of while planning. Because visiting home as an expat isn’t just about logistics. It’s about managing energy — especially for young kids adjusting to a new time zone.

The Dutch Planning Culture

The Dutch are experts at planning ahead. Calendars get aligned months in advance, because otherwise “it won’t work anymore.” Since we’ll be traveling to different parts of the country, this trip has been in the making for a while. Okay, mostly in Seb’s mind. He plans our trips, and I’m incredibly grateful for that.

Still, even with perfect planning, visiting home during the holidays always feels intense.

Working Remotely During the Holidays

On top of family plans, there’s my work schedule. Navigating U.S. vacation days as an expat isn’t always easy. This time, I’m lucky I can work a few days remotely from the Netherlands, and the Christmas period is relatively quiet meeting-wise. The time difference actually works in our favor. But mentally, it’s still a constant switch:

Work mode.
Mom mode.
Daughter mode.
Friend mode.

Balancing those roles during a short visit home is harder than it looks from the outside.

The Emotional Balance of Going Back Home

What I find hardest is managing expectations, my own and everyone else’s. I always want to see more people. One more coffee. One more visit.

At the same time, I know our kids need time to adjust. Jet lag is real, especially with young children. And time with family isn’t a checklist. It’s something you want to actually feel.

Every trip, I promise myself not to overplan. And every trip, I realize afterward how intense it still was. I always need a moment to recover once we’re back in the U.S. Maybe that’s just part of expat life.

Missing Dutch Christmas Traditions

What I’m most looking forward to is that typical Dutch gezelligheid.

Being inside while it’s cold and dark outside.
Long dinners.
Familiar routines.
Small traditions that you only truly miss once you live abroad.

Final Thoughts

Ten days.
A lot of love.
A lot of family.

And hopefully enough space to pause and think: this is exactly what we need right now.